Monday, April 24, 2006
Hi gang. Sorry i haven't been around. I got sick last saturday. Worse in sunday. Went to bed Moday , only got out of bed to visit the bathroom until Friday, when I got taken into hospital. I got out about an hour ago. Just wanted to let you all know that I hadn't forgotten you. Will be back later, mayber tomorrow to tell you the details oif you want em. But I am very, very tired right now. Going to have a hot drink, and see if I recover a little. If not, then I am off to bed.
Love y'all
PS Who won the race?
posted by tazfan at 10:06 pm comment(s) made:
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Monday, April 17, 2006
The last few days, I don't seem to have had any enthusiasm or inclination to do anything. I have just been sat in my chair, by the window, watching the world go by. I think I must have reached a point where I couldn't take anything else in. Although I got on the computer a few times, it was really only to surf for my blogmad credits. I am so low on those I cant NOT surf!! But, as soon as I had enough credits, I turned the computer off. That confused everyone here, as i usually only turn it off when I go to bed.
Oh well. Feeling a little more lifelike today. Not much, but a little. And anything is an improvement
posted by tazfan at 10:13 am comment(s) made:
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Monday, April 10, 2006
I dont understand some people. How hard is it to say please and thank you? Does it cost anything? Does it hurt? NO!! So why is it that some people seem totally unable to say the words? I had a phone call today, from a telemarketer. Clive answered, and he passed them on to me as they asked to speak to the lady of the house. Maybe he should have given it to Kita! When I took the phone the woman on the other end asked if I was the lady of the house. I said I was. Without even introducing heself she went into a spiel of sales garbage. I let her finish, being as polite as I could be, then informed her that, sorry, but I really was not interested in her offer. She came back with the usual stuff, are you sure that you dont want to save money, blah, blah, blah. I informed her again that I was not interested. Then came the reply, Well why have you been wasting my time then? Why didn't you say so in the beginning? I told her that if she had introduced herself I would have told her there and then that I wasn't interested. I was then subjected to a tirade of abuse. How dare I tell her how to do her job, and so on and so on. I pointed out to her that she hadn't given me the chance to tell her that I dont OWN a car, so her insurance extras were no good to me at all. I also said that I would like to speak to a manager or supervisor. She calmed down then. She said sorry. Then her exact words were " Dont tell my boss. I'll be fired". No request to "please dont tell", just dont tell. I do not like being ordered around. She said she would remove my number from the database so I didn't get called again. She tried to talk me out of it. Eventually I said I wouldn't talk to her boss. "OK, bye" thats all I got. Bad manners. There is no excuse.
posted by tazfan at 8:29 pm comment(s) made:
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Of course, I didn't see the race yesterday. But as normal, I "read" it in the chatroom. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO What else can I say? Tony raced from 40th to 1st, led most laps, and finished 3rd. Awesome or WHAT? Congratulations to Kasey Kahne. He's one of the good guys. I dont mind him winning. Matt finished 2nd for Babs. Pleased Babs? From what I read he drove really well. Elliott didn't do so well. Sorry Babs.
I got a phonecall from Kristi, my daughter, last night. She's the one who wants me to drive them 120 miles to the theme park, then hang around doing nothing all day (well, for 8 hrs) then drive them the 120 miles back again! They have now decided that they will pay for me to go into the theme park with them. At least I wont have to sit in the middle of nowhere for the 8hrs. I'll take my camera and try to get some decent shots of my grandkids.
Clive is having trouble with his stomach again. He only got about two hours sleep last night, so I haveleft him in bed to try and get some more. Also, his hernia op is giving him a little pain too. Now THAT wories me. Not a huge amount, but a bit. It's been a long time since he had the op.
I found out yesterday that Shunyas sister, Toffee, is just as willful, stubborn and plain bloody-minded as Shunya is. So at least I know she's normal.
posted by tazfan at 8:45 am comment(s) made:
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Sunday, April 09, 2006
Woke up this morning with a really stubborn pain in my knee. Like it had been twisted all night. It's also a little swollen. Feels very sore. I cant figure out what I have done to it. I just know it hurts.
The rash on Clives arm has gone. His elbow is still very warm to the touch, so I have told him to go ahead and see the doc tomorrow. I dont like it like that.
I wish it was summer, and we could leave the back door open all the time, for the dogs to run in and out. I am getting fed up of having to get up and down opening it all the time. You can pretty much bet on one of them wanting to go out the minute another one comes back in! Think I need a guard on that door :)
posted by tazfan at 1:17 pm comment(s) made:
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Saturday, April 08, 2006
I am beginning to feel just like I did before we moved to Blackpool. One of the reasons we wanted to move away was so the kids couldn't keep "using" us the way they were. Phoning me in the middle of the night to go and pick them up from a club or a party. Borrowing money, which they never paid back. All sorts of stuff like that. Yes, I KNOW that I am supposed to "BE THERE" for my kids, but they are also supposed to be responsible adults! My daughter has three kids of her own, and has another due in August. My son is 27. The reason I feel like this? I got a phone call about an hour ago. My daughter has arranged to take her kids to Alton Towers (a theme park) on tuesday. It is about 120 miles away. She phoned my sister to ask if I could borrow the car to take them there, wait all day for them, then bring them back. My sister agreed. My daughter THEN phones me and tells me she has organised it, would I please drive then there and back? Knowing that the towers is out in the middle of nowhere, so I wouldn't have anywhere near to wait for them. Didn't really ask me if I would, just sort of told me that she had made all the arrangements, they just needed a driver. What am I supposed to do all day. I will be dropping them off at 9.30am and not picking them up until 5.30PM. I dont know about you, but I think that is taking me for granted.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
posted by tazfan at 8:22 pm comment(s) made:
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Just read a post from a Blogger user that EVERYONE knows by now, Babs, that she has lost all her blogs. Well, SHE hasn't, she logged on and her blogs were gone. now, I dont know about you, but one of the first things I do each morning is read Babs main blog. And on a Saturday I read her Nascar blog first, so I know what happened to Tony, Matt, Elliott and everyone else. I dont think my day has started until I read those. but I cant read them if they are not there!! BLOGGER! Please help Babs find her blogs. So many of us need her input in a morning. HELP!!! HELP!!!
If anyone knows where Babs blogs are, or can help, please tell us!
posted by tazfan at 10:19 am comment(s) made:
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Friday, April 07, 2006
Clive got a scratch off one of the dogs late last week. When they were playing. Whoever it was, they didn't mean to. They were just fooling around with him. The scratch didn't look too good, so we cleaned it up, washed it off with witch hazel, smothered it in antiseptic cream, and thought it was okay. Today his arm has a nasty looking red rash, under the skin. I think the scratch may have become infected. Clive had his tetanus shots five years ago, when he cut himself on the car, so i am not worried about that, but this rash doesn't look good. I want him to go to the walk-in centre, and have it checked out.
Clive also had a docs appointment on Monday. I knew I should have gone with him. I knew he would forget something. I don't like the fact that the doc has doubled Clives dose of Effexor. I dread trying to get him off it. He has also changed his medication for his oesophagitis. And his painkillers too. We just wanted to be able to get some sleep. We are both pretty close to mental and physical exhaustion. Neither of us has slept properly for months. And of course, our bodies are used to all these disturbed nights. So we are taking a long time to settle into a new sleeping pattern. I think last night I only woke up about four or five times, and i managed to get straight back to sleep more then half of those times. I would really love to be able to go to sleep, and stay asleep until it is time to wake up in the morning. A full night asleep.
I am going through another stage of not having the motivation, energy or enthusiasm to do anything. I haven't read any emails today, and I haven't made the four phonecalls should have.
I really just don't care.
Shunya is really driving me crazy. She is beautiful, she is sweet, she is smart, but she will NOT be housebroken. It has NEVER taken me this long to toilet train a pup. I don't know what it is with her. She will go for days without any accidents, then I get four or five in the same day. She is also constantly annoying the other dogs. I wish one would put her in her place.
I feel odd. A strange, unwelcome feeling. Like I don't belong. Why should I feel that in my own home?
Oh well. Whatever it is, I cant do anything about it.
posted by tazfan at 11:03 pm comment(s) made:
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Monday, April 03, 2006
It was my grandnieces christening yesterday. I had to go. I didn't really want to go out. But I couldn't let them down. Such a special day. Bobbieleigh Miya Shaw. Such a beautiful little girl. And smart as anything. But maybe I am biased!
Anyway. Some pics.
Too much for a little girl! So pretty. Beautiful dress for a beautiful little girl.
Two great-grandmas with Bobbieleigh. Two great-grandmas, AND a grandma!!
Me and my great niece Bobbileigh.
Bobbieleigh and her grandma (My kid sister Hez).
So now you see where I was yesterday. But I still made it home in time for the race!!
TONY WON!!!
posted by tazfan at 11:24 am comment(s) made:
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Sunday, April 02, 2006
Thank you my friends, for leaping to my defence. However, I have now received an apology which I truly believe was made from the heart.
I have posted an acceptance of the apology on the blog.
Each day, you all make me reassess my belief in the good of humans. For the better.
My friends. Thank you. Each and every one of you. You are truly the kings and queens of humanity at its very best. And I love you all.
Now do me a favour. Go cheer on Tony to win :)
Okay, Okay. I know you are not THAT good a friend (except Clance of course. And any other Tony fan.
posted by tazfan at 6:30 pm comment(s) made:
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Looks like Babs is not the only one who has people who post before they think.
A wonderful post about me.
http://www.thesarahbrown.blogspot.com/
Just in case she decides not to post my comment thanking her for the extra traffic, here it is in its entirety.
Thank you for your wonderful post about my donation button. I am sure you know all about me.
The fact I cant work due to severe depression. As it happens, yes, I DO have some wonderful
people who, rather then ridicule my need to stay online so I dont lose contact with the outside
world, have donated enough money now,to keep me online for the next few months.
I am sure you enjoy all the wonderful things that your money can buy. Unfortunately, I have
enough to do nothing. No, I dont have digital cable or satellite, no, I dont own a car, no I dont
drink, smoke, do drugs or anythng else that costs money. The only "luxury" I have is my internet.
Which is the only way I can keep in touch with my friends around the world.
Thank you for raising my profile.
Now if you would like to go visit the hundreds of others who have donation buttons, I am sure they
would welcome the way you bring more traffic to our blogs.
Thank you.
Tazfan
Might as well cut the internet connection now.
posted by tazfan at 10:11 am comment(s) made:
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Saturday, April 01, 2006
Today felt strange. Not for any specific reason. Just strange. I feel sad, and yet there is nothing for me to be sad about. I am loved, by a special man, and by my children, and by my friends, and by my dogs. I am needed, and wanted. But I feel so sad. I don't know how best to explain it, other then the intense sadness you feel when something you love is lost. Do I feel anything different? Maybe. I almost feel like I can feel a lessening of my love for the people who matter most to me. But I don't know if that is it. I know I would still give my life to save that of any of those I love.
I sat today, and thought. Of the past, and the future, and of how, or why, or even IF I could change anything. I don't think I would. I thought about being able to change Philips death, but then I wouldn't be married to Clive. Each thing I thought about, I thought what, and who, would change if I changed them or it. I know that my future is in my hands. And I know that I have many choices to make. The choices I make affect not only me, but everyone I touch. Be it physically, mentally, or any other way. Each action on my part can change the life of thousands. Maybe some that are alive now, and those that are to come after. My descendants
Life is more then just today. It stretches infinitesimally both forward and back in time. My life is due to my Mother and Father. Theirs, to their parents, and their parents, and their parents. My life was saved by doctors, who had parents, and grandparents of their own. My children have their children. And so on it goes. And on, and on. Stretching throughout time. Maybe , in a hundred years, if our planet still survives, my descendants will ask about me. What legacy have I left for them? I don't mean material legacy. I mean the legacy of my being. Have I been the best I could be? Have I struggled my hardest to forge forward? Or have I been guilty of simply trying to be? Maybe that IS my best. Maybe that is what I am here for. To provide no more then a bridge between generations. And if that is my purpose in life then I have fulfilled it. I was a life created, and I , in my turn, have created life of my own. Now my children go on, to complete their part in the whole circle of life. They were born, they create children, they die.
When I die, will anyone truly be sad? Will anyone truly miss me. Yes, they will. And no matter who you are, someone will be sad when you are gone. Someone will miss you. Our lives belong, not just to us, but to the entire human race. Because each of us touches others, who touch others, who touch others. There is no greater loss from this planet then death. Be it man, woman child, animal, insect. Each death is mourned in its own way.
Be aware. No one is truly alone. You just have to reach out. Someone will always take your hand if you reach far enough.
I dedicate this post to my friends, my family, my pets. To those who have given me a reason to live. And a reason FOR my life. My purpose is to love each and every one of you. If you return my love, then I am doing a good job. If you don't, then I am not trying hard enough. I am sorry. I will try harder.
posted by tazfan at 9:54 pm comment(s) made:
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Hi. My name is Mishka.
I am third in line in the Klaufi pack. I am a little different to the others who live with our Mum and Dad. To start with, I wasn't bred by Jackie. I wish I was. She is so nice. Yes, I have met her. Lots of times. She is a real dogs friend. I was bred by a man called Terry. Mum doesn't know that much about my puppyhood. I came into Mums life when I was nearly 2.But what she does know is that I was from an accidental mating. My furmum and my furdad were brother and sister. Terry was away for a few days, and the woman who was looking after us didn't know that my furmum was in season. So she didn't keep us separated. I was one of the results. There were six of us I think. I couldn't count then. I was very young!! The one thing I got from the mating was something I could have done without. I was born with only one eye. Now, whether or not that was a direct result of the mating, or some other problem, we don't know. But all the other pups in my litter were okay.
My human Mum got me because Terry considered me to be faulty. He was going to have me put to sleep. He owns a security firm, and provides guard dogs to patrol other peoples premises. He had been trying to train me to be a guard dog. But I don't like being nasty. I love being gentle, and quiet, and loving. Terry phoned Jackie and asked her if she wanted me. He told her that, if she didn't, I would be put to sleep. Jackie didn't have room for me, but she took me anyway. Jackie thinks every dog has a purpose. I am a very good nanny to pups, and I play with very young children. I let them stick their fingers up my nose, and in my ears, and in my eye. And I never even try to bite them. I don't even growl. Lots of children in Mums family have learned to walk by holding on to my coat, and I walk slowly beside them. I love just sitting and letting people fuss me.
Jackie phoned my Mum and asked if she could take me. Mum didn't really have room but Jackie knew she wouldn't be able to resist me. So Mum came to see me. I liked her so much that I tried to sit on her lap and give her sloppy kisses!! Mum didn't mind. She asked Jackie how I had coped with all the dogs, with having only one eye. Jackie said something about me having dog-sense. I don't know what that is, but, because I have never HAD an eye on my left side, I have never missed one. Lots of people have been very surprised when Mum tells them I only have one eye.
Mum decided she would find room for me somehow. We went in the car and we went to Mums house. I met other dogs there. I met Tippi, and Dookie, and Kita. Kita didn't like me very much at first. But we got to be friends after a while. Mum said Kita was scared of anything new. I don't know why.
Mum soon discovered that I was very gentle and loving. And very pretty. She says my only fault is being a little jealous when anyone touches Mum or talks to her. Especially when she talks on the phone. I whine and bark a bit. I only do it because I don't want Mum to be hurt. So I let everyone know I am there to protect her. I love my Mum very much. And she loves me. I try so hard to be gentle all the time. When anyone gives me a treat, they all say that they don't even feel me take the treat out of their hands. Do you think that's good?
I am now six. I was going to have some puppies, but I only produced two, and they were so big that they got stuck, I had to have a big operation, and both my babies died. Mum said she would never put me through that again. She was so upset. So upset for me, and upset for my babies. Mum thought I would be a fantastic Mum. I think she was probably right. But instead I am a nanny to all the other puppies who come through this house! As long as Mum and Dad love me I know I will be alright. My Mum is special.
The picture up there ^ is of me and Mums newest baby, Shunya. I love playing with her. And here is another one, where we are out playing in the yard. We were playing tag. I would run away and Shunya would chase me, then when she caught me, I would chase her. Mum says we are crazy!!
posted by tazfan at 2:52 pm comment(s) made:
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