Saturday, March 04, 2006
Another night of really disturbed sleep. I wish I could just sleep right through the night. I would love to be able to get up one morning, and actually feel rested and energize. Maybe I should stick a couple of brand new Duracell batteries up my arse and see how I feel then?
Finished the decorating. Think I already told you. But Clive decided that the fireplace wasn't looking right, so he started working on it. The colour he chose isn't quite right to my way of thinking, but he let me have my choice for the rest of the room, I'll let him have his for the fireplace.
The finished article. Pic doesn't show the silver up very well. And the colour of the panels looks pink, but it's actually a terracotta variety. Then Clive picked out the reliefs with silver. Looks really pretty, but just not 100% certain it goes with the rest of the room. But, Clive likes it, and I can learn to live with it. Now we just need a New electric fire too replace the crappy old one we borrowed to replace the one that was there originally that broke.
Why am I boring you all with my decorating story? Are you as desperate for some kind of action in your life as I am? This is the most interesting thing I have done for ages, and yet it is so terrifically boring and dull. I am beginning to wonder if it is really worth carrying on. Nothing changes. I am still married to a man who loves me, and I love him, but I find him boring me more and more. I don't love him any less, but I sometimes feel like he is the one holding us back. I don't suppose it is him. It's more likely to be me. But Clive is so unadventurous. He wants everything to just be the same. He suffers with depression too. A lot milder then mine. In fact, if I was as depressed as him I probably wouldn't even know it.
With no spare cash, and a future that is so debt-ridden that I cant see a way out at the moment, we are so limited in what we can do. We cant go out together unless I get someone in to dogsit. Two of my dogs suffer from separation anxiety, caused by previous owners. That is part of the reason that I ended up with them. I see no reason to put them through any more trauma, so we get someone to dogsit. Usually my son. Although, now he is working again he doesn't have a great deal of free time.
My nose hurts. I have to wear glasses when I am on the computer, or reading. Only started to have to have them last year. My sight has always been perfect up til then. But now the glasses hurt my nose. They don't pinch or anything, just where the nose bits rest on my nose, it gets sore. It hurts, and they give me a headache then. But the amount of time I spend at my computer, I HAVE to wear them, or my eyesight would be really bad in a few years. I don't want to have to wear glasses permanently. I don't like wearing them.
We have snow here. Its unusual for snow to stick here, because I live very near the coast. The beach is only about 1/2 to 3/4 mile away from my house. So the salt in the air usually stops snow. But it is about an inch and a half thick. The dogs had great fun playing in it this morning. Of course, now they are all wet and smelly. Oh well. They enjoyed themselves. And why shouldn't they. They don't have to suffer just because I do.
Trying to buck myself up a bit by listening to my old Garth Brooks CDs. I am incredibly annoyed that His new box set is only available form Walmart, and so I cant get it over here. I love Garth just as much as I love Tony. I am fiercely loyal to both of them.
Oh well. Better go give the dogs their breakfast. I have five expectant faces looking at me.
posted by tazfan at 8:27 am comment(s) made:
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