Life, highs and lows of an English Tony Stewart fan.

An Englishwoman, living in England, who loves Nascar, Tony Stewart, Garth Brooks, horses, German Shepherd Dogs,and absolutely adores all her American (and Canadian) friends!!!!

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Had a huge row with Clive last night. Clive has oesophagitis, where the valve that lets food through into the stomach is severely damaged. It swells, tries to repair itself, but in doing so it actually starts sealing itself shut. To give you an idea of the problems that causes, the year before we moved here, Clive had been eating his dinner when he got a terrific pain from his stomach, he felt like he was choking as well. You know the feeling when you get a piece of food stuck in your gullet? Well, he couldn't swallow anything. Everything he tried just came straight back up. Even sips of water. So I got him to the hospital. He was operated on and they found the problem. A single petit poir,, yes, those tiny little peas, had got stuck in the valve. That's all the gap he has left. They had to remove the pea after they knocked him out. Anyway, to get back to the story, He hasn't had any gastric episodes since we moved here in 2002. Last night he had one for the first time since then. And it was a bad one. Not enough to hospitalise him, but enough to scare him. Then he started blaming me, saying the stress of doing the decorating must have made it happen. So I reminded him that we made the decision to decorate TOGETHER. And that HE was the one who actually started wanting it done. So he launched at me, all guns blazing. Clive is never physical in his arguments, but he can be emotionally cruel. Knowing how much I hated the fact that the last med I was on made me put on 30 pounds, he started by saying how did I think he felt watching me eat like a horse and making myself fat while he cant eat much at all! He KNOWS it was the drugs. He actually eats more then I do. He grazes all day.
But he made me feel really bad. I know it was just because he was so scared that his oesophagitis was going to start being a real problem again, but its not my fault.

I didn't sleep much last night at all. The argument didn't help, but neither did the fact that I have horrendous backache for some reason. I am really down today. Going to be that way all day I think.

posted by tazfan at 8:28 am comment(s) made: 3

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