Thursday, March 09, 2006
I am now at the heaviest weight I have ever been. All that hard work I did, losing the weight before the med change has been wasted. I now weigh 250 pounds. I feel ugly. I feel SO ugly. I dont even want to set foot outside the door. Today is the day I do my grocery shopping. All teh time I was shopping I kept feeling like everyone was looking at me. Laughing at me. Calling me fat and lazy and stupid. Why do people always assume that, if you are fat, you MUST be stupid? I am NOT stupid. Okay, I am no genius, but I am NOT stupid. Now the problems come. I know whats going to happen. And no matter what I do to try to prevent it, it will still happen. I will get so down that I just eat and eat and eat. Hopefully i will be able to try and just eat things that wont put much weight on me. Fruit and veg. I love eating raw carrot, as long as they are sweet. I have deliberately bought more fruit and veg, and less of the food that I normally eat. No, not fattening food, but food that POTENTIALLY be a fattening food. And I am going to try to go out more. Walk the dogs maybe three times a day instead of twice. And as I have five dogs, who go out in pairs, then that makes six walks instead of three. So I will be doubling my exercise. I have to do something. I cant keep letting myself get so down all the time. I need to feel good about myself. I have to.Or I can see this being a real end of the road situation possibility.
posted by tazfan at 3:55 pm comment(s) made:
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